Need to Write...


Don't even have a subject today to write about...except the feeling that I need to go out on the driveway and create something...woke up at 4am...in one of my can't sleep stages...what does normal feel like?...been so long I can't remember...but again is that the normal I want to feel again?...not really...my poor parrot Jake is probably getting a birdy ulcer from all this...got a message recently from a "psychic healer" I used to see when I had money...she said the world is opening up for me...my life would have been better off all along had I never married, stayed away from committed relationships, my life has been designed to be solitary in many ways yet I have wasted most of it "searching"...and she is right...so what do I learn from that?....the same thing I have said but not lived...should I fall in love again...2 houses...or house with separate out building on same property...horses...space to breathe...time away to be me...time for you to be you...knowing that we are together...that should we be out and our eyes meet we "KNOW"....and there is no question that it is "you and I"....I will never be 'normal' and I accept that...I just want to be strong...